The Plight of the Single-Breasted

You may think the decision process surrounding a mastectomy would be a difficult one, but it isn't really. You have cancer and you want to do whatever is necessary not to have cancer. If that's a mastectomy, then that's a mastectomy. After all, I was hardly worried about having to nurse a child at a post-menopausal 48. Although, in the spirit of full-disclosure, last fall I did decide I was going to embrace my cleavage and even bought a few new v-necked tops - quite out of character for me, as I spent most of my adult life ensuring I was wearing a top that did not offer a peep show. So much for that idea. But I digress and it's just the first paragraph.

Actually, the decision about what to do after the mastectomy has way more options than I would have thought possible and none of them conducive to my choice. I had to make the initial decision regarding reconstruction on that phone call with Dr. Majercik when he called to inform me of the necessity of the mastectomy - he asked if I wanted to do immediate reconstruction - if so, that would push the operation back a few weeks until we located a plastic surgeon. I firmly told him I wasn't interested in even thinking about that at this point and just wanted to move forward eradicating the cancer - now wasn't the time for vanity.

With apologies to anyone reading this who did opt for immediate reconstruction - I can't imagine why a person would do that. It's like pushing dirt under the rug - you don't see it, but you know it's there. Immediate reconstruction would have robbed me of the opportunity to emotionally and physically heal and meet the new me - a little bit more each day. It wasn't easy. My mastectomy scar is almost 10" long, and let me tell you, initially not very pretty. But by having physical therapy and massaging "the site" with vitamin e oil every day, I got to know this new part of my body and now when I see myself in the mirror I truly do see a survivor. I currently have no inclination to investigate reconstruction, even though both my husband and my doctor counsel that I may change my mind some day.

The other option is a prothesis - yes, I have a prescription and the insurance company will buy me one every 2 years and 2 mastectomy bras a year (or some such combination). Want to be boggled - search the internet to try to pick out a breast prothesis. Just do the search. I got 367,000 hits for "breast prothesis" and 59,500 for "post-mastectomy bras." One website listed 11 different types of prothesis - from silicone, to gel, to foam, to fiberfill. Yikes. But nowhere did I find a undergarment answer for those women like me who are perfectly content that this is now their body and would just like to live with what there is.

What's a girl to do? Well for now I've cut out the right cup out of all my very pretty bras and made them not so pretty anymore. After all, I don't want to spend the rest of my life squished in a sports bra do I? I've got a great idea for a website for build-it-yourself single-cup bra's, I just can't figure out how to make the bras. Any ideas - proposals - business partners?

I did find a website breastfree.org, that had a list of the positive reasons women decide against reconstruction and flatter myself that I'm a match.

• They're strong women who don't feel their breasts define their identity.
• They're confident women who know they can look great in clothes without showing lots of cleavage.
• They're active women who want to continue exercising without any restrictions.
• They're mature women who understand that love of spouses, friends and family isn't dependent on having breasts.