Good News

That's right, I finally got some good news from a doctor this year!

A few weeks ago I met with a genetic counselor at the Familial Cancer Program with the Vermont Cancer Center at FAHC. My doctor referred me to this program because of the history of cancer in my family. When I met with the counselor, I learned that when two of more relatives in a family have cancer, the family has familial cancer. Familial cancer is sporadic and not necessarily due to the inheritance of a cancer-causiing gene.

Then there is inherited cancer, which means familial cancer results from inheriting a cancer-causing gene - this type of cancer is called hereditary cancer and can be passed on to future generations.

Due to my particular family history, the counselor suggested that genetic testing would be appropriate for me. A blood sample was taken and submitted for testing for BRCA genes, specifically BRCA1 and BRCA2, which if positive, can indicate a higher risk for breast and ovarian cancers.

As you probably have already guessed by the name of this post, my test results came back negative. Due to my family history, I still am at a higher risk that the general population for another cancer event (as opposed to a recurrence of the current cancer I am in the process of eradicating). Due to this higher risk, I will be working with the counselor to determine what the best course of action will be for monitoring and testing as we move forward once I'm finished with treatment.

Halfway Point

It's hard to believe, at least for me, that I've passed the halfway point in my chemotherapy treatment. I've had two treatments and since the drugs do their thing for about 2 - 3 weeks after treatment I figure I'm halfway through today.

I must admit that I feel extremely lucky so far that I haven't really had too much trouble with side effects, although the famous fatigue that I heard about has set in and I am really tired, which is one of the reasons I haven't posted much this week. I can pretty much get to about 1:00 in the afternoon and then I really have to slow down. I'm still doing 1/2 hour on the treadmill every morning - I think that consistent exercise has been one of the reasons I've been able to get through as I have - although I do feel like I may be speaking too soon since I do still have two treatments to go.

Yesterday was Herceptin day and I am still in love with my port. I went without the Lidocaine to see how it was, and had no problem and only 1 stick. I went out to lunch afterwards with my friend Andrea and felt fine, but later in the day I started to feel ill and by the time 7:00 came around - I was off to bed with a funky tummy and what felt like the beginning of a head cold. Today the head cold continues, and I'm not sure if it's a cold or a Herceptin side effect, which are flu-like symptoms. Other side effects I'm experiencing are tender gums and sore hands - hardly anything too horrible.

Thanks to everyone reading for your wonderful comments and continued support - I so appreciate everything!

The Plight of the Single-Breasted

You may think the decision process surrounding a mastectomy would be a difficult one, but it isn't really. You have cancer and you want to do whatever is necessary not to have cancer. If that's a mastectomy, then that's a mastectomy. After all, I was hardly worried about having to nurse a child at a post-menopausal 48. Although, in the spirit of full-disclosure, last fall I did decide I was going to embrace my cleavage and even bought a few new v-necked tops - quite out of character for me, as I spent most of my adult life ensuring I was wearing a top that did not offer a peep show. So much for that idea. But I digress and it's just the first paragraph.

Actually, the decision about what to do after the mastectomy has way more options than I would have thought possible and none of them conducive to my choice. I had to make the initial decision regarding reconstruction on that phone call with Dr. Majercik when he called to inform me of the necessity of the mastectomy - he asked if I wanted to do immediate reconstruction - if so, that would push the operation back a few weeks until we located a plastic surgeon. I firmly told him I wasn't interested in even thinking about that at this point and just wanted to move forward eradicating the cancer - now wasn't the time for vanity.

With apologies to anyone reading this who did opt for immediate reconstruction - I can't imagine why a person would do that. It's like pushing dirt under the rug - you don't see it, but you know it's there. Immediate reconstruction would have robbed me of the opportunity to emotionally and physically heal and meet the new me - a little bit more each day. It wasn't easy. My mastectomy scar is almost 10" long, and let me tell you, initially not very pretty. But by having physical therapy and massaging "the site" with vitamin e oil every day, I got to know this new part of my body and now when I see myself in the mirror I truly do see a survivor. I currently have no inclination to investigate reconstruction, even though both my husband and my doctor counsel that I may change my mind some day.

The other option is a prothesis - yes, I have a prescription and the insurance company will buy me one every 2 years and 2 mastectomy bras a year (or some such combination). Want to be boggled - search the internet to try to pick out a breast prothesis. Just do the search. I got 367,000 hits for "breast prothesis" and 59,500 for "post-mastectomy bras." One website listed 11 different types of prothesis - from silicone, to gel, to foam, to fiberfill. Yikes. But nowhere did I find a undergarment answer for those women like me who are perfectly content that this is now their body and would just like to live with what there is.

What's a girl to do? Well for now I've cut out the right cup out of all my very pretty bras and made them not so pretty anymore. After all, I don't want to spend the rest of my life squished in a sports bra do I? I've got a great idea for a website for build-it-yourself single-cup bra's, I just can't figure out how to make the bras. Any ideas - proposals - business partners?

I did find a website breastfree.org, that had a list of the positive reasons women decide against reconstruction and flatter myself that I'm a match.

• They're strong women who don't feel their breasts define their identity.
• They're confident women who know they can look great in clothes without showing lots of cleavage.
• They're active women who want to continue exercising without any restrictions.
• They're mature women who understand that love of spouses, friends and family isn't dependent on having breasts.
  

Wonderful Friends - THE MOVIE

For your viewing pleasure

Click on this two minute video of the day 14 of my Massachusetts friends got together to create a beautiful quilt for me which in their words is to "cover you or wrap around your shoulders during treatments to represent the friends who want to wrap you in their love."

Careful - it's a tear jerker....

Treatment Update

First treatment with port access today. Last week access was left in after insertion, so I wasn't sure what accessing the port would actually be like until today. I must say, it made everything so much easier. Just a quick prick and slight burn with the administration of Lidocaine for numbing and then insertion of the needle which I didn't even feel. A quick 10 minute process with no anxiety, no pain and no boo boo's! I must admit, never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be singing the praises of having an "implanted vascular access device." I received my half hour dose of targetted therapy with no problems and was off on my way to the best medicine of the day - meeting my friends Becky and Cindy downtown for lunch.

I did experience a chemotherapy patients worst nightmare today - a windy day. I haven't really been covering my head much unless it's cold, but today since I was going out to lunch I decided to wear a hat - cute little newsboy number - and, yes, it blew off my head. After that I just gave up and went without cover - sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it to worry about it. Like I said to nurse Deb when she was worried that my bandage might show and I was heading out to lunch - it is what it is.

Feelin' Fine

So it's the 5th day since my last Chemotherapy treatment and I'm feeling quite well. On Sunday and part of yesterday, I did have pretty much a "maybe its better if I just lie down" kind of a day, but nothing really bad. I've been able to continue to walk either on the treadmill or outside for at least 1/2 hour every day and I've been able to continue to eat healthy meals. The first couple mornings I switched over to Carnation Instant Breakfast, but this morning had no problem with the pancakes and bacon we had to celebrate my mother's 87th birthday.

I've learned that one key to a successful morning is slowing the process of getting up (although I'm not sure that's possible for me - an expert snooze alarm manipulator). I've found waking up and having a few crackers and something to drink and waiting for 20 - 30 minutes diminishes the chances of long-term upset stomach, which is probably something all of you who have faced morning sickness already knew - but it's news to me. Also, a friend of mine gave me some great ginger chews which have proved to be quite helpful for settling my stomach - especially after eating. I'm working hard to continue to eat right, exercise daily and get enough rest so that the incredible machine we call a human body, aided by some pretty cool science, can do its thing and ensure I have a long and healthy life.

If you have any tips or tricks for getting through chemotherapy, or even just run of the mill stomach ailments, please feel free to share those in the comments section. THANKS!

Wonderful Friends

13 years ago, in the spring of 1995, I took the classified ad I had cut out of the paper and carried around with me for months out of my wallet and picked up the phone. A very warm and caring woman answered on the other end and changed my life! No, I wasn't calling a rehab - I was calling the Suburban Adventure Club (SAC) in Massachusetts. I told her of my circumstances and that I wasn't looking for a dating club, but wanted to take my life in a new direction. In her turn, she convinced me not only to give the club a try, but to go away for a weekend in Martha's Vineyard with a group of complete strangers. Believe it or not, I agreed. Those strangers, some I met that very first weekend, and others I met over the next months and years, have turned into some of the most important people in my life ( I did eventually meet my husband through the club). I can honestly say that without the lifeline of these friends, those first days and weeks of my diagnosis and surgeries would have been a completely different experience. Cards, letters, emails and gifts came pouring across the border to brighten my days and help me remember there were people out there who cared about me.

Then, a few weeks ago, a gift that cannot adequately be described in words arrived (see photo). They had a quilting day and made me a beautiful quilt which will allow me to wrap myself in their love and caring, not only as I continue through my treatment, but for the rest of my life. There have been very few times when I have cried through this process, mostly when I'm tired, but when I opened the package and realized the extent of what I was holding in my hands, I could not stop the tears (as I cannot stop them now as I write this). You may have noticed my new quilt in the Chemotherapy #2 treatment photos from last week, and you can be sure that you will see it in all the remaining treatment sessions.

Support is such an important part of cancer treatment. There are as many ways to support a cancer patient as there are patients that need that support. Just take a minute to think through what the person you know needs most – sometimes it’s a dinner or a ride and sometimes it’s just to be treated like a person without cancer and then a lot of the time, it’s just to let them know you love and care about them. And, as my friends have shown, there is the completely unexpected, and forever treasured.