It's my hair, that's what. Yes, today, 2 weeks to the day from my first chemotherapy treatment, my hair has started to come out. I put my hand through my hair today and came away with a handful. The nurse told me it would be 2 to 3 weeks after the first treatment when my hair would come out and I've been waiting for the day when it would happen - I didn't know how I would feel and honestly it felt really weird.
A wonderful friend of mine sent me a book, I Am Not My Breast Cancer, by Ruth Peltason, which is a support group in a book. When I came away with hair in my hand, I immediately opened the book to the hair loss chapter and read entries from brave women around the world and how they coped with hair loss. I learned there were as many ways to cope as there were women with breast cancer. It's funny, even though you know it's going to happen, you aren't really prepared for it when it does. I still can't put my emotions into words, I just looked at the hair in my hands and went, huh, how about that. Now what am I going to do? I know I do not want a wig, nor do I want to wear "chemo scarves" but I'm just not sure how I'll feel about being bald in public - how will other people react? I guess I'll find out. I'm also worried about my mother who has mid-stage Alzheimer's disease and lives with me. I hope she remembers why I have no hair and I don't have to explain multiple times a day, day after day. It took almost a month of daily explanations until she could remember I had cancer - but she thinks it's in my arm....something I don't bother to correct.
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3 comments:
Are you sure you don't want any "cancer scarves", at least for the cold days? Someone I work with had some beautiful ones and I was thinking of asking her where she got them. Let me know if you want me to check it out.
When my mom lost her hair the clinic she went to for her treatments had the name of someone who made the scarves. She chose those over a wig. Sometimes she just wore a hat. I have to tell you, when her hair grew back it was so beautiful, nicer than it had been. She said it reminded her of the hair she had as a teenager, wavy and thick.
I've been struck with the same thought that I told you after I saw the photo of Robin Roberts without her wig: both of you were even more beautiful than I had previously thought. It makes me wonder: when a woman is brave enough to be photographed and seen without her "crowning glory" does her true, inner beauty become easier to see?
I hope this blog is helping you as much as it has the potential to assist others dealing with breast cancer and other illnesses and issues. Thank you for taking the time to write it.
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