In June we took a trip to visit Charlie's parents, and his sister and her partner in Florida. It was the first time I had been away since my parents moved in with us in October 2006, so it was a much anticipated break as well as the opportunity to see my wonderful in-laws who had been so supportive - I really looked forward to those in-person hugs. We had a great visit and spent one day on Clearwater Beach doing nothing but reading and watching the surf. I read Eat Love Pray by Elizabeth Gilbert, which my friends had given me while I was in the hospital. I had a tough time getting into it, but once I got through the section on gluttony in Italy, I enjoyed the book which is subtitled "one woman's search for everything across Italy, India and Indonesia." I found two particular parts of the book quite interesting - the first provides a way of looking at our time here on earth in a new light and the second put into words what I couldn't about my approach to my appearance during the surgery and treatment phase of my breast cancer journey.
The first is a conversation between the author and a medicine man in Bali about the difference between heaven and hell. The medicine man says "you can tell the difference because for heaven you go up, through seven happy places and hell you go down through seven sad places." The author responds with "You might as well spend your life going upward through the happy places, since heaven and hell -- the destinations -- are the same thing anyway?" and the medicine man answers "Same in the end, so better to be happy on the journey." That just so hit home for me - not that I'm looking to change my basic protestant beliefs, but really - why not go through happy instead of sad???
The second quote is from a woman named Armenia who runs Novica who as an explanation of what it means to be a Brazilian woman says "...Even in the worst tragedies and crisis, there's no reason to add to everyone's misery by looking miserable yourself. This is why I always work makeup and jewelry into the jungle...Just enough to show that I still had my self-respect." I had no idea why I was so determined to always look the best I could, always with eyeliner, lipstick and blush - always dressed well to go to the doctors or the clinic, but as soon as I read that passage - I knew I agreed with her - it's totally a matter of self-respect - a very important trait to hold on to during the battle with cancer!
1 comment:
A friend of mine came across your blog while searching about Eat, Pray, Love and sent me the link. I was so grateful for that. I am amazed to see the way you face your health problems. Looking at your photos with that radiant smile, we can only think that a cancer will never beat you. Even if you had to undergo painful treatments, you are already a winner. Denise, you are so inspiring!. Keep being happy in your journey and looking great when you go to the clinic.
Much Love!!!
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